Me. That’s who. We’ve been married 10 years now and it hasn’t always been easy. But I chose wisely. I chose a woman who is an amazing wife and an amazing mom. She doesn’t always believe it, probably because I’m better at expressing my feelings in writing than verbally. But that’s part of the reason that my first official post on this blog is about her. Who better to feature in my first blog post than the woman that has made life possible these last 10 years?
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
Its nice to be married to someone I can trust. I don’t worry about where she is. She is worth more than jewels. Every once in a while I think back on the women I’ve dated (or wanted to date) and they are still great women, I’m just not sure they would have put up with me for 10 years. I’m massively introverted and see the world through different lenses than most people, which can make me very hard to live with at times. The Lord has also called me into ministry (Wholly Anointing) that hasn’t been easy to do. But she’s stuck with me and supported me through it. I’m both jealous and grateful of the fact that she succeeds at everything she puts her hands to. The Lord has used her to provide for us in amazing ways.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
I don’t know about wool, but flax is definitely a staple in our household lately. She keeps us eating healthy. Before you Bible scholars get up in my grill, I know I’m taking that out of context. It’s a joke. But she does fulfill the essence of this verse. She takes care of us. She is always busy making sure we have what we need. She delights in the work that she does. She loves helping her customers, and they love her.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
She rises while it is still night (in the winter when the days are shorter) and makes us breakfast. The parenthesis above used to be true but are more of a joke now. She used to hate mornings and wake up at the last possible moment, but has made an effort to wake up early and make sure I am provided for. It’s been a blessing the last few months to wake up and have food on the table in the morning. I’m fine with fending for myself but it’s nice to be taken care of. She would feed the kids but they are addicted to their Babushka’s blinchki. I’m sure she looks forward to the day when she has maidens to give portions to.
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who afears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
I’m skipping a lot of the chapter because it would make this post 3 years long and you won’t read it all. The last two verses are the most important to me. She fears the Lord. Who cares about anything else? The rest of the chapter talks about many things that don’t really happen in our society so it wouldn’t be fair to compare her to them. She serves in the church, playing violin and singing on Sunday mornings from time to time and helping out wherever she can. She uses her business to bless others when she can. She takes care of her temple and helps others to do the same (see the About page if you want to find out more).
I don’t want to just brag on my wife without leaving you with a lesson I’ve learned. Most of our struggles over the past couple of years have been the result of me worrying about providing for my family. I left a job where I had hit the income ceiling and was working way too many hours that I wasn’t getting paid for, for a job where I have flexibility in my time but it’s not guaranteed income. I’ve desired to start thriving a bit, and not just survive. I’d like to do more than pay bills every month. But the Lord is slowly changing my focus (not that the Lord is changing it slowly, I’m just slow to learn some things). I always say God, Family, Everything else, but I don’t always live it. It’s hard for me to shut my mind off at the end of the day and stop thinking about what I didn’t do or what I need to do tomorrow. I was watching Star Wars Episode 1 with the kids a couple of months ago and something stuck with me that hadn’t before. In the beginning of the movie, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are talking, and Obi-Wan says something to the effect that Master Yoda always says to be mindful of the future. Qui-Gon responds yes, but not at the expense of the present. (Insert whatever nerd jokes you want here, but who says you can’t gain real wisdom from Star Wars). I’m working on doing better at that. The hardest thing I’ve had to learn is that my family needs me more than they need my money. The Lord has always provided. ALWAYS. I don’t know what I worry about or why. I have a vision of how I want things to be and have a hard time adjusting when they don’t go that way. Give your family yourself, and let God take care of the rest. Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it doesn’t get you anywhere (who says you can’t get a little bit of wisdom from Van Wilder either?). The Bible says that faith is the assurance of things unseen, and who has ever added a single moment to their life by worrying?
Cherish the things that are right in front of you before you worry about the things you have no control over. My kids are 7 and 9 already and the years are only going by faster. I have no idea what happened to 2016. Don’t
lose give another moment of time to worrying. It never feels like it, but we do have control over that. Control what you give your time to. You’ll be blessed for it.